I'm Not Here For Your Entertainment (A Hunger Games Story)
by sami.kristene.johnson
Summary: Terra Byrne won her Hunger Games when she was 15 years old, just three months after her parents died in a tragic fishing accident. She has always been a loner and an outcast due to the strict parenting styles of her mother and father, but after her Hunger Games victory she completely shuts everyone out-never talking to people that care about her and hardly ever leaving her house. S
1. Do It

**Chapter One: Do It**

_Do it._

I wake up, screaming and covered in sweat. Two years since my Games and I still can't get rid of these nightmares. I turn on my light and go downstairs to get some water, completely naked. That's one of the great things about living by myself: I don't have to worry about other people's opinions. I can walk around my house butt naked without having to worry about people freaking out over nudity.

I grew up in District 4 as the only child of very strict, very weird parents. I was never allowed to do fun things like sing or draw pictures, I had to wear clothes that my mom picked out (these usually consisted of turtlenecks and loose-fitting pants that would hide my figure) and if I wanted to leave the house for something other than school I had to check in with my parents every half hour. Growing up, my hobbies pretty much consisted of school work, chores, and physical exercise that my parents made mandatory.

My father won the Hunger Games when he was 17 years old, and always expected me to follow in his footsteps. My mother was from a family of working-class people that rode the seas, catching fish and other sea creatures that would get sent to the Capitol as food. Bascially, both of my parents were extremely hard working and had way too high expectations for me. They wanted me to participate in the Games, come home a victor, find a husband, and have tons of kids that would also participate in the Games or become great fishermen. What they never seemed to understand was that I never wanted any of that. I was tired of them trying to determine my life for me, and I was tired of them treating me like I was nothing but a piece of clay they could mold to their liking.

Pulling myself away from these bitter memories, I pour myself a tall glass of water and head back up to my room. I know I will not be able to fall back asleep without some help so I swallow a couple morphling tablets and crawl back into bed.

The next thing I know sunlight is streaming through my window and my phone is ringing very loudly. Groaning, I roll over and pick up the phone.

"Ugh..Hello?" I answer.

"Terra, please tell me you are up and somewhat presentable," my assistant, Tatianna says, clearly annoyed, "It is almost 11:30 and the train leaves at 1"

Shit, I murmur. I completely forgot. Today is the start of the victory tour for District 4's newest victor, Adelfo Dunn. I don't particularly care for him or this tour, but I was one of his mentors so it is required for me to accompany him on his tour of all the districts.

I tell Tatianna that I am up, and she tells me that she will be at my door in half an hour to make sure I look decent and to escort me to Alelfo's house, where I will be part of a short interview before we have to leave for the train station.

I get out of bed and head to the bathroom, where I turn the shower on and get in. I hardly use any cold water; the burning hotness relaxes my muscles and at the same time the pain from the hot gives me a sort of rush, giving me something to think about besides the fact that I am not prepared to leave my house and deal with the awful, triggering Hunger Games celebrations once again.

Once I am squeaky clean, I brush my teeth and hair and pick out a tight-fitting blue dress, fishnet stockings, and tan combat boots. I am not worried about whether the colors of the ensemble clash, but I am sure Tatianna will have something to say about it.

I am just getting done putting on my eyeliner when the doorbell rings. I open the door to see Tatianna in a bright blue wig and gigantic wool scarf that wraps around her entire body like a blanket. She looks me up and down, then lets herself in.

"Good afternoon, Terra. Your outfit looks good but you aren't wearing nearly enough makeup. I can see bags under your eyes and that is just not acceptable if you're going to be on live television".

I roll my eyes at her, but grudgingly let her coat my face with concealer and blush, then watch her inspect me once more. Once I am camera-ready enough for her, she pulls me back downstairs and out of my house, and we are on our way to Adelfo's house.


	2. The Center of Attention

**Chapter Two: The Center of Attention**

When I get to Adelfo's house, I am surrounded by people. My old prep team, who is now Adelfo's prep team, are all hugging me and asking me how I have been. I respond with the generic good and tell them that I've missed them too (which is a lie), then I notice Finnick Odair smirking at me. I give him a questioning look.

"It's not even your Hunger Games year anymore and you're still the center of attention," he says with a smile.

Before I can reply with a smart remark, everyone in the room is called to attention. It's time for Adelfo's interview. Adelfo is rushed outside by his escort, where he has a few minutes of conversation with Caesar Flickerman, then me and Finnick are asked to come on camera and talk about how excited we are for the tour and how proud we are of our latest victor. I let Finnick do most of the talking, while I just stay silent and look at the camera.

Before I know it, we are on the train headed for the first stop on the tour, District 5.

Most of the tour goes by pretty slowly and uneventful. Little is required of me besides being present. Adelfo's escort helps him prepare speeches for each district, and Finnick gives him advice on how to present himself. I spend most of my free time in my room, and every night I have to take several morphling tablets to dull the nightmares that have gotten worse since the tour started.

We are a day away from the Capitol when people start missing my presence on the train. Tatianna comes into my room and demands that I eat breakfast with the rest of the team instead of ordering room service like I usually do. To get her to stop complaining, I throw on a robe and head to the dining car. Everyone looks up when I enter and look me up and down for a good couple seconds. Apparently I am not presentable enough for breakfast because everyone else is out of their pajamas and wearing dressier clothes than me.

I shrug it off and pour myself some orange juice. I eat a couple pieces of toast, and when I'm about to start on another piece Tatianna starts talking.

"We will be arriving in the Capitol tomorrow where a celebratory ball will be held, and everyone will be dressed in their finest attire. It will only be expected that everyone here looks nothing short of breathtaking, even the mentors. Adelfo, Finnick, and Terra: you will both have to be up by 7 tomorrow morning to be completely made over and prepared for the ball".

The Capitol is the same as it is every year: ridiculously dressed people walking around with their big hair and pink dogs, and people squealing with delight every time they see or hear something that has to do with the Hunger Games.

Surprisingly, the celebratory ball is not nearly as miserable as I thought it would be. The food is actually really good, I'm only asked to dance a couple times, and only a few creepy Capitol men and women flirt with me.

I am really relieved when the tour is completely over with. When we get back to District 4, I skip out on the rest of the festivities and go back to my house. I am exhausted from all the travelling and socializing so I eat a quick meal, take a shower, and go to bed. That night I have one of the worst nightmares I've had in a while.

_I am laying on my side, covered in blood and dirt. I hear running towards me and think surely this is the end. He has come to kill me. Instead, he roughly pulls me to my feet and thrusts a knife into my hand. I look at him, really confused. _

_"I'm not just going to kill you while you're laying there helpless. I want to work for it", he says, smirking. He has blood running down the side of his head and he is missing several teeth._

_The boy from District 2, who used to be my ally, is trying to give me a chance to die fighting. I don't understand why, and I assume I am way too weak to actually win over him. I am not ready to die though, and I gather up all the energy I can to fight him. _

_He lunges at me, ready to stab me, but I slice his arm with my knife. He looks down at his bleeding arm, and while he is distracted, I kick him hard in the shin, which knocks him to the ground. He manages to grab one of my legs and bring me to the ground with him. He rips a large chunk of my hair from my head, and I claw at his face. He screams in pain and pushes me off of him. He is clutching at his cheek, which is now gushing, and I take the opportunity to grab a spear. _

_I realize now that I actually might have a chance at winning. I am exhausted, sweaty, and covered in various wounds but the adrenaline pumping through me makes those other things hardly noticeable. I stand over him, ready to end it. Just as I am about to drive the spear through his chest, I hear him make a barely audible sound._

_"Do it," he says again, louder. This catches me off guard, I think he is just bluffing for a second, but I realize that he is completely defenseless now. He has weapons within his reach, but he isn't reaching for them. It hits me hard when I realize that he is giving up. When he handed me the knife just a couple minutes ago I knew I would have to kill him if I got the chance, but now that I am standing over him I can't bring myself to do it._

_"Just do it, Terra. I am letting you win. You deserve it."_

_I just stand over him, shaking, unable to do anything but look at him. I know I should probably get it over with. He is letting me win the games, letting me live, but I am suddenly frozen. This is so much harder than I want it to be. _

_"Do it. Do it, please."_

_I take three deep breaths, close my eyes, and drive the spear through his chest._

_"Ladies and gentleman, the victor of the 71st annual Hunger Games, Terra Byrne!"_


	3. Capitol Surprise

**Chapter Three: Capitol Surprise**

A couple of months after Adelfo's victory tour, I get a call from Tatianna. I am wanted in the Capitol for a special event, but she refuses to tell me what the event is. I repeatedly probe her for information, but all she will tell me is that it will make the Capitol citizens very happy and Snow wants me to be there by tomorrow. I have a feeling I won't have fun with whatever it is and I don't want to go, but it is not wise to deny President Snow. I tell Tatianna that I will pack my things and come, and she tells me that the train will arrive tonight to take me to the Capitol.

After I hang up the phone, I sit there for a couple minutes, unsure of what to think about this upcoming adventure.

Sure, I was popular during my games and I got showered with sponsers and gifts in the arena, but I definitely was not as famous as some of the other victors. My personality was pretty much bland during my interviews and victor's tour, and I never talked to any of the other mentors during the last two games. The only people that kept in contact with me on a regular basis were Tatianna and occasionally my old prep team. President Snow pretty much left me alone after my time in the spotlight was over, but now I was suddenly wanted by him in the Capitol? The only thing I can guess is that there is going to be some new Hunger Games promo where they interview old victors; they have done that in the past and it has been a hit with the Capitol citizens.

I hate being around other people, especially in large crowds, but I know I will get in trouble if I don't show up. I stand up from my chair and pour myself a shot of whiskey. After I down it, I take one more shot then store the whiskey back in the cabinet. I am not usually a heavy drinker. I hate the feeling of being dead drunk, but when I am stressed out and can't take any morphling I have a small drink to take the edge off of my mood.

Once I am feeling a little lighter, I go up to my room to pack. Tatianna did not mention how long I was going to be in the Capitol, but I put some essential clothing items in a small rolling suitcase and zip it up. I'm sure the oh-so-nice people in the Capitol would provide me with more clothes if I end up staying for a while.

I still have a while until I have to get on the train, so I strip off my clothes and head to my bathroom. I fill up the tub with steaming hot water, adding calming bubbles and turning on the jacuzzi jets. I step in and let the bubbly warmth of the bath envelop me. I soak for half an hour, letting my mind wander off into dreamland. When I come back to reality and realize the water is getting cold, I get out of the bath and wrap myself in a towel.

Since I will be travelling all night and my choice of outfit should probably be practical, I put on some tighter fitting grey sweatpants, a black sports bra, and a black cotton cardigan. I pull my hair into a ponytail, apply some light powder, and look at the clock. I still have an hour and a half until I have to be at the train station, so I decide to sketch a picture to kill some time. I let my thoughts wander and just draw whatever comes to mind. When I am finished, there are nine different eyes on the paper, all making different expressions. I think they are good and very detailed, but I don't have the inspiration to draw anything that really means something to me.

With my suitcase and jacket in hand, I go to the train station. There are peacekeepers guarding the entrance to make sure nobody sneaks onto the train, and when I arrive they have me touch my finger to a scanner. When I am identified and authorized to leave, I step onto the train and try to find a sleeping car. I plan on going straight to bed without eating. I have to pass through the dining area to get to the bedrooms, and to my surprise I see Finnick sitting at the table. I look at him questioningly, and he greets me with a smile.

"Good evening Miss Byrne, glad to have you join me."

I don't know what to say, so I just keep staring at him.

"I know, the sight of me leaves plenty speechless but I would at least appreciate a warm greeting," he says with a smirk and a wink.

"Were you called to the Capitol for the big surprise too, or are you just vacationing?" I ask.

Finnick gives me a quizzical look, and now it's his turn to be speechless. He pales a little and almost looks sad, but before I can ask why he returns to his usual flirty self. I go to ask him what the look was for but before I can say anything he replies to my question.

"The people of the Capitol beckoned for me, and I must go. I'm not sure what big surprise you're talking about but hopefully it involves good food and big parties. You do need to socialize more."

I'm guessing that my earlier thought about the suprise being a victor interview is wrong, and now I'm getting kind of nervous about what it could be. I am way too tired to question everyone about what it is though, so I try to brush it off. I just roll my eyes at him and leave the car.

As the door closes, I hear him whisper something.

_"Please no, not her."_


	4. Snow's Demand

**Chapter Four: Snow's Demand**

When I arrive in the Capitol, I am greeted by tons of really excited citizens. They are squealing and grabbing on to me and greeting me with nice words. I am more confused than ever. Since when did people get this excited to see me? Deep down I have a bad feeling about this trip, but I can not think about it for long because I am engulfed in the crowd of happy Capitol citizens and have to fight my way through the crowds to get to my building. Tatianna greets me at the entrance with a hug and escorts me up to my suite. I try asking her what is going on, but she just silences me and tells me it will be explained soon. I try to swallow the fear that is slowly building up inside me, and think to myself that I could really use some morphling right now.

Tatianna and I arrive to my suite, and a brown haired avox takes my suitcase and jacket to put in my bedroom. I sit down in a plush white chair in the living room, and try to calm myself. I ask another avox to get me some water and a cigarette. When he brings the stuff to me, I take a big gulp of the water then stick the cigarette in my mouth and light it. I take a couple long hits of it, letting the nicotene calm me somewhat. Tatianna takes a seat next to me, and when I exhale smoke she looks disgusted and waves her hand in front of her face.

"I don't see how people smoke those things without coughing," she says.

I ignore her comment and ask her once again to tell me what is going on. She tells me she would let me know if she could, but that Snow requested her not to mention anything. I beg her to at least give me a hint, and I promise her that I will act like I know nothing. She gives me a fake sympathetic look and assures me that I will know soon enough what is happening. I am due to meet with President Snow in an hour.

To pass the time and keep myself from bursting from curiousity and dread, I take half a morphling tablet and take a nap. I wake a short while later to Tatianna telling me it is time to go. I get up, fix my hair and makeup, and exit my room. I am escorted by two guards to President Snow's manor.

By the time we arrive, I am visibly shaking and a light layer of sweat has formed on my forehead. I casually wipe it off as we pass through the cast iron gates of the manor, trying to act like nothing is wrong. I try telling myself that this surprise is probably nothing big and that I have nothing to worry about, but I keep thinking back to that look Finnick gave me on the train and all my worries come rushing back.

I am asked to wait outside of Snow's office for a second while he is informed that I have arrived. A moment later, the guards come back out and escort me into the office.

The room is just as I expected: it is immensely big, and the floors and walls are made out of what I assume to be mahogany. There are several paintings on the walls of past political leaders, and a tv moniter on the far left wall is broadcasting the news that all of Panem sees. Snow has his back turned to me, and is looking out a window. When he hears me enter the room, he turns to face me.

"Good afternoon, Miss Byrne. I hope your travels went well?"

"Yes they did sir, thank you for asking." I reply, and give him a slight bow. I am trying to be as polite and respectful as possible, but the sight of him makes me slightly naseous.

"Take a seat, Miss Byrne. Can I get you something to drink?"

I tell him I would like some ginger tea, and he nods to an avox who rushes off to retrieve my drink. Not even a minute later, the avox returns and hands me my tea. I am impressed that it got delivered that fast, and I smile at the avox.

President Snow watches this interaction with an interested look, and clears his throat to bring me back to attention.

"I bet you are curious as to why I asked you here today, Miss Byrne," he says casually.

"Yes sir, I have been wondering that." I reply.

"It seems as if lately you have caught the attention of some very important Capitol members. Ever since you accompanied Adelfo on his Victory Tour, many eyes have been on you and your looks."

"Yes, it seems that way." But what does that have to do with why I am here?

"You are just one of many victors that are considered desirable by people of the Capitol, and when a victor is considered desirable I try to give my people what they want. I am sure you would agree that the body is a beautiful thing to explore, and to have the opportunity to explore the body of someone as beautiful as you is a wonderful gift."

My blood turns ice cold as I realize what he is asking from me. My heart drops, and all I can do is sit there silently and shake my head.

"I know this might come across as a shock," President Snow says, smiling, " but I think you will enjoy yourself. Many of the people here are very generous, and can give you splendid gifts and a wonderful time. Some of them can be quite rough, but I'm sure the payment you'll recieve will outweigh the pain."

"No," I whisper, "I can't do it."

The look on Snow's face suddenly changes. His eyes become dark and menacing while his smile grows even wider. He leans forward and looks me straight in the eyes.

"You can do it, Miss Byrne, and you will do it. I am not asking."

I feel faint from fear, and my eyes fill with tears. He seems to get some pleasure from this, and continues to talk.

"As you have probably noticed, many of our victors are showered with love from the citizens and have made the Capitol their home. This was not their decision, just like this will not be your decision. You will live in a suite designated to you, you will take in clients and make them very happy, and if I hear one complaint about you I will make sure you are appropriately punished. You will act happy and polite, and when you are mentoring tributes from 4 you will act like 4 is your home. Don't be fooled though, 4 is no longer your home. Even when you gain more freedom and trust from me and are allowed to go back to 4, your true home will always be the Capitol."

I suddenly feel extremely dizzy, and I can't think straight. I am terrified of what Snow just said, but I cannot focus on that for long. It occurs to me that my tea was drugged. I look up at Snow's now blurry figure and begin to panic. I hold on to the arms of the chair and try to stay focused, but I am not successful.

"It will be okay Miss Byrne, I'm sure you will have some fun."

The last thing I see before I black out is Snow's menacing gaze over me.


	5. First Encounter

**Chapter Five: First Encounter**

I wake up in a large bed, feeling woozy and cold. I am in a big white room that has a bed, two couches, a tv, a kitchen and bathroom, and a large window on the far wall. For a split second, I wonder why I am here, then I remember with a pang of fear. President Snow summoned me to the Capitol and is now forcing me to be a prostitute. I try not to panic, but I can't control it. My breathing becomes fast and uncontrollable, and I have to stop myself from screaming. Just when I am about to completely lose my shit, someone enters my room. I look up to see Tatianna looking at me sadly.

"Oh Terra, I'm really sorry you had to find out this way." She said, trying to sound sympathetic.

I just look at her, astonished and angry. "Why would you let them do this to me? Why didn't you just tell me what was gonna happen?"

"I wanted to so bad, but Snow told me not to say a word to you. He knew you would probably freak out and didn't want you to do something stupid."

"So you acted like I was coming to the Capitol for some big, happy surprise and made me think I was gonna at least maybe have some fun?" I ask her, my voice rising as I get angrier.

"Terra, you are going to have fun. Once you get past the initial shock of being in a new place with people you don't know, you will come to love all the gifts and money you'll be given. You will feel like you are a queen." She said with a small smile.

It takes everything in me to keep from getting up and slapping her. Why people here don't see a problem with practically kidnapping people and forcing them to sell their bodies is beyond me. I thought Tatianna would at least have some sympathy for me considering she's been the only person I've kept in contact with on a regular basis for two years, but I guess she is just as brainwashed and heartless as the rest of these animals in the Capitol.

Before I can think of something to say back to her, there is a knock on the door. Tatianna rushes to answer it, and in comes a tall, black haired guy with a red suit and intricately trimmed facial hair.

"Terra, this is Seneca Crane. He is the new head gamemaker for the Hunger Games, and would like to spend some time with you." She gives him a small nod and exits the room. A short wave of coldness passes through my body.

My first client.

"Hello, Terra. Nice to meet you." He says with a smile. He reaches to shake my hand but I quickly pull it away and hide it behind my back.

I think he can tell how scared I am and how much I don't want to have sex with him, so he attempts to be as nice as he can. His attempt isn't very nice though, because he is looking at me like he wants to devour me. He starts speaking to me in a soft voice.

"Let me just start off by saying that you were brilliant in your Hunger Games. You are a very beautiful girl, and I would love to spend some time with you."

He again tries to reach out to me, but I back away from him and try to hide under the covers. He lets out a little laugh and yanks the covers off of me.

"Please don't make this harder than it needs to be. I am a nice man and don't want to have to hurt you, but I will if I have to. I want you and I will have you. I promise it won't hurt, it will be over before you know it. Now just lay back and relax."

I start to scream, but he quickly puts a hand over my mouth to silence me. Before I can try to get away, my clothes are off and he is on top of me.

I stay in the shower for almost 40 minutes, crying and scrubbing as much of the dirtiness away as I can. I feel terrified and violated, but soon enough all I feel is numbness.

When I am out of the shower, I pull on sweatpants and a baggy grey sweatshirt. I look in the mirror and see a girl with light handmarks around her throat and pink puffy eyes from crying. I turn away from the mirror and exit the bathroom.

When I enter the living room, I am surprised to see Seneca sitting on the couch with a glass of what I assume to be brandy in his hand. For a split second I panic, thinking he wants to have sex with me again. Before I can let out a cry, he starts speaking.

"I know you weren't expecting me to still be here when you got finished showering, but I still need to pay you."

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a black leather wallet. He pulls some bills out of the wallet and puts them in my hands. I don't look at them, just crumple them up in my hand and stare at him.

"I would have liked to stay and talk to you, but it's pretty obvious you don't want me around."

"Why would I want to talk to you? I didn't even want to have sex with you. You raped me!" I scream.

His eyes widen a little and his mouth forms a thin line. "Terra, that was not rape. I know deep down that you thought it felt good, I could feel it inside you."

I start shaking and tears run down my face. He just looks at me with the hint of a smile on his face and turns towards the kitchen. He pours the rest of his drink down the sink and walks towards the door to leave.

Before he exits, he turns towards me and says, "I had fun Terra, hopefully we can do it again."

Once he is gone, I grab the closest thing to me and slam it against the wall. I run to the bathroom, search through the cabinets, and find just what I need right now. A container full of morphling tablets. I swallow four of them and walk back to the living room. I spot something on the ground as I am heading towards the couch, and realize it's the money Seneca gave me. I won't use it, but I count it anyways out of curiousity. My mouth drops a little when I see how much he gave me.

$500.


	6. Familiar Face

**Chapter Six: Familiar Face**

_It was a late Thursday night, and I was at the beach. I was feeling rather inspired that day so I had my sketchpad in my lap and was sitting on the sand, drawing the seaside landscape. My sketch was coming out nicely and I smiled as I put the last finishing touches on it. I usually didn't go to the beach during the day because of all the people that were there, but I really liked how the light of the stars reflected off of the water at night. When I was finished with my sketch, I put the sketchpad back in my bag and started walking back home. _

_When I got to my house, both of my parents were furious._

_"Terra, where in the hell were you?" My father said, face slightly red with anger._

_"I told you I was going to the beach," I said, trying not to make him any angrier._

_"You know you are supposed to check in with us every half hour, why didn't you?" My mother asked._

_"I'm sorry," I replied, "I just lost track of time."_

_"And what were you doing that made you lose track of time?" _

_"I was just working on some sketches," I said._

_My mother started toward me and ripped my bag from my hands. She took the sketchbook out, flipped through my drawings, then threw the sketchbook across the room._

_"You know you are supposed to check in with me and your father, but you didn't," she said, "I don't give a shit whether you were drawing pictures or not. Since you can't seem to follow our rules, I am taking your sketchbook from you. Until you learn to listen, you are not getting it back."_

_I ran up to my room, crying. Every time I started to really enjoy doing something, my parents took it away from me. It's like they were trying to take all the happiness from me, and I didn't understand why._

When I wake up the day after my encounter with Seneca, I feel strange. I am still sore and depressed, but I am no longer as scared as I was the past couple of days. I stand up from the couch, stretching my arms out and go into the kitchen to get some breakfast. I see a note on the counter that is addressed to me. It is from Tatianna.

_Terra, _

_I know you are probably still upset with me, but I wanted to say again that I'm sorry I couldn't tell you what was gonna happen to you before you came here. I stopped by while you were asleep to check on you and tell you something, but you looked comfortable so I didn't wake you up. As your assistant, I am going to be in charge of who gets to see you and how often. You will have three more clients this week, and there is a party on Saturday that you will be attending. A new prep team will be coming by Saturday to make sure you look amazing. If you have any questions, just call me._

_From,_

_Tatianna_

When I finish reading the note, I tear it up and throw it in the trash. I should be scared and nervous over the fact that I'm going to have to have sex with three more creepy Capitol people this week, but all I feel is extreme anger towards Tatianna. Sometimes she seems like she at least somewhat cares about me, but whenever my prostitution is brought up she acts all happy and businesslike.

I try my hardest not to let her get to me, but throughout the day all I can think about is how much I hate her now. So much for her being my friend.

Over the next three days, I see my next clients.

The first of the three people is an older guy that shows up dressed in leopard print leather pants and a black fur coat. The whole time he is with me, he pets my head and repeatedly tells me how young and beautiful I look.

The second person is a woman of about thirty years old with purple tattoos bordering her face and really long fingernails. She is rough with me, calling me her little pet and scratching my back really hard at one point. Once she is finished having her fun, she sticks around for an hour or so, gossiping to me about random Capitol people and talking to me about the latest fashion trends. She can tell that I clearly don't give a shit, but she keeps on talking and talking.

The last person I see for the week is a really skinny guy that looks like he is in his early twenties. Thankfully he doesn't want to do anything with me sexually. He tells me that even though he has tons of friends, he is lonely. He lays in bed with me for a while, holding my hands and talking about how he can't find anyone that he is genuinely interested in. It is nice to have someone that doesn't just want to have sex with me, but he acts kind of depressing and clingy the whole time.

I am left feeling dirty and violated after seeing all these people, and every night after these encounters, I take a long hot shower, swallow some morphling, and sleep for long periods of time. The payments I recieve from these people remain untouched: I hide all the money and jewels away in a box under my bed, where they stay.

Saturday morning I wake up to Tatianna tapping me on the arm.

"Terra, it's time to get up. Your prep team is on their way to get you ready."

I sit up, groggy from the morphling that's still in my system. I take a cold shower to try and bring myself out of the stupor I'm still in. When I am feeling more awake, I get out of the shower and wrap myself in a bathrobe.

While we are waiting for my new prep team to arrive, Tatianna makes several attempts to start a conversation. I just act like she isn't in the room, choosing to stare out of the window at the people on the street below.

When my prep team does arrive, Tatianna acts cheerful and excitedly introduces everyone to me. My fashion stylist is a tall, middle aged man with silver eyebrows that introduces himself as Thom. My makeup artist and hair stylist are twins named Lilia and Lilac. The only difference between them is their skin color. One of them is dyed a very light shade of green, and the other is a soft purple color.

It takes them nearly four hours to prep me for the party. Lilac spends a long time fussing with my hair, trying to force it into a bow shape. Lilia applies several layers of foundation to my face and coats my eyes with eye makeup in five different shades of pink. Thom takes the shortest time working on me, having me slip into a dress and heels then inspecting me, turning me every way to make sure I look good in all angles.

When I look in the mirror, I am slightly taken aback. I literally look like a living doll. Tatianna gushes over me, telling me how fantastic I look and how I'm gonna wow everyone, but I once again act like I don't hear her. This doesn't seem to bother her though. When it is time to leave, she excitedly escorts me to the party, talking about the various important people that are going to be there. Like I actually give a shit.

We get to the party at 5, and I am slightly naseous. There are literally hundreds of people here, and they all seem to want to talk to me. I hate social events, and the fact that most of these people only want my body makes the whole thing even worse. After about an hour of being approached by wildly dressed people and having to act like I'm excited to see them, I spot a familiar face.

I walk away from the lady that was talking to me about goosefeather hats and quickly walk towards him.

"Finnick, what are you doing here?" I ask him. Instead of answering me right away, he casually takes hold of my arm and brings me to an outside balcony, where we are now alone.

"Terra, how are you?" He asks, with a slight look of concern on his face.

I start to tell him that I am doing good, but instead I break down in tears. I tell him everything that has happened to me over the last week, including Snow's threat, me being drugged and waking up in an unknown place, and being repeatedly sexually abused. As I tell him all these things, he grows pale and looks like he's going to puke. When I finish venting, he pulls me into his arms and tells me everything's going to be okay. I don't see how things are going to be okay, but I am really relieved to have someone comforting me. After a couple minutes of him hugging me and whispering reassuring things into my ear, he pulls away from me.

"Terra, I know exactly what you are going through. Snow has been using me like this since I got out of the games. It was horrible and scarring at first, but you will eventually get used to it. I'm not going to say it gets any better but once you adjust to all the attention, things will get a little easier to bare. I know this is hard and painful, but no matter what you have to act like you are happy here. Act like you are grateful for everything even if you are miserable, because if you don't you will be punished badly and you won't ever get to go home."

I ask him when I will get to go back to District 4, and he tells me that if I convincingly act like I am happy and grateful, I may get to go back home after the next Hunger Games are over. Thankfully that is only two months away. He also tells me that even though he is allowed to live back in 4 now, he has to make frequent trips to the Capitol to please the greedy citizens. That still sounds miserable, but it is way better than having to be stuck in the Capitol forever. I tell him that I will act like I am the happiest girl in the world, but I know that it will kill me inside to do so.

Suddenly the door to the balcony opens, and Tatianna walks out, obviously flustered.

"I've been looking for you everywhere! Come inside, there is someone I want you to meet."

I force a smile on my face and walk back inside with her. I spend the remainder of the party thinking about what Finnick said to me.

If I successfully pull off this happy-girl appearance, I could be headed back home in a couple of months.


	7. Excitement

Another three weeks go by and things gradually start to get easier for me. I am still miserable and scared on the inside, but I learn to mask those emotions and eventually push them to the back of my mind. When I am in the company of other people, I act like a completely different person. I am always smiling and flirting, giving my clients what they want. They believe it: as more time goes by and my happy act gets better, I start to recieve more money and jewels, and more and more people come see me.

I am invited to parties frequently, and always have to look my best for them. Thank goodness my prep team can work miracles, because my appearance gradually declines. I have been taking large doses of morphling each night and it is starting to show. My skin starts to take on a slight yellow color, and I always have bags under my eyes. Lilia says nothing about my awful appearance. Instead, she starts showing up to my room every day to make me look presentable before my clients show up. I am thankful for her effort, but do not say this to her out loud.

Once in a while, Finnick calls me to see how things are going. I desperately want to complain to him about how hard it is to act happy for everyone, but I have a feeling that the phones are being monitored, so I just tell him that I am doing great and things couldn't be better.

One Thursday, I get a phone call from Seneca Crane. He tells me that he wants me to come over to his house and says he will send someone to get me at seven.

_Just great, _I think. Seneca was my first client, the person that helped to start this nightmare I've been living in. I swallow my hatred for him and tell him that I will be ready by seven, and that I cannot wait to see him.

When I hang up the phone, I call my prep team and ask them all to come over to make me look good for my outing. They tell me they will be on their way shortly, and while I am waiting for them I turn on the tv.

The preparations for the 74th Hunger Games have apparently started, because there is a reporter on screen talking with Claudius Templesmith about what they think the next arena will be like. This makes me both nervous and excited: I have always hated the Hunger Games, but since my games ended things are even worse. When I see or hear something about the games, I often get horrible flashbacks about my time in the arena. However, on the bright side, if I please President Snow and the Capitol citizens enough, I may get to go back to District 4 after this year's games. This thought excites me, because that is not far away.

When my prep team arrives and see that I'm watching pre-Hunger Games news on the tv, their moods elevate drastically. Lilac and Lilia keep talking about how excited they are to find out who the new tributes are, and Thom mentions that he can't wait to see the tributes' costumes for the Tribute Parade.

Their chat soon comes to an end when they see that I am uncomfortable. They apologize, but I tell them it is fine. They start prepping me and question me about my outing.

"So, Terra. Are you excited about your date?" Lilac asks me with a wink.

"I didn't think it was a date," I reply, "he just wants me to come over to his house"

"Well you're still lucky that you get to spend time with him," she says, "he is one of the most eligible bachelors in the Capitol, not to mention that he is SO CUTE!"

Lilia agrees with her sister by blushing and letting out a little squeal of excitement. I just keep my mouth shut and roll my eyes at them.

When they are done getting me ready, I am a little surprised. I actually look really hot. I am dressed in tight black jeans, a sleeveless red v-neck shirt and black jacket, and platform combat boots. My hair is pulled back into a high ponytail, and I have a layer of black liquid eyeliner on my eyelids. I would feel proud and confident if it weren't for the fact that I am going to hang out with the person that raped me.

I arrive to Seneca's house at a quarter after seven. He lives in a very spacious glass house that is situated just outside of the city circle. A tall avox with a beard and brown hair pulled back into a bun escorts me to the main floor of the house, where Seneca greets me with a smile.

"Terra, it's been a while. How have you been?" He is looking at me with those creepy eyes again, and my skin crawls.

I just smile and say, "I've been great. I am really loving living in the Capitol. I am invited to tons of lavish parties and people treat me like a queen."

"Good, you deserve nothing less." He reaches out and smacks my butt. Thank goodness I am getting used to this kind of behavior from people, because I stop myself from jumping back and I force myself to let out a little giggle.

"You sexy girl," he says, "would you like something to drink?"

"Yeah, that would be awesome."

He has the bearded avox bring out some bourbon, and Seneca and I each down a couple drinks. He talks to me about various rich people things and mentions past flings he's had with other victors. Before I know it, I am really drunk and am falling everywhere. Seneca just laughs, picks me up, and carries me to his bedroom.

Once we are done with what he calls "sexy fun", he rolls over onto his side and just stares at me for a while.

"I think this year is going to be great," he says.

"Why is that?"

"I just have this feeling that this year will be really memorable. I just finished putting the last touches on the new arena, and in a few weeks the Hunger Games will start. I have great plans for the tributes. They will be sure to have fun in there."

I don't have anything to say to this, and he doesn't say anything else. Soon he starts snoring, and shortly after that I drift off into sleep.


	8. Different

Marc is a shorter guy in his late twenties. He has piercing blue eyes, a square jaw, and a wide mouth. He has black thorn tattoos covering most of his neck, and several piercings on his eyebrows, lower lip, and ears. At first glance he looks tough and intimidating, but once he opens his mouth to speak it is clear that he is extremely polite and caring.

The first time I meet him, he introduces himself and asks me several questions about myself and my background. I answer him with generic responses, but make sure to smile a lot so he doesn't think I'm being stuck up. I think he can tell that I am guarded and holding back, but he doesn't pressure me for honest answers.

He is unlike many of my other clients. He has a soft, soothing voice and doen't talk about the usual Capitol gossip. However, he is very touchy, always softly rubbing my back or running his fingers through my hair as we talk. Surprisingly though, this does not bother me. There is something about him that is calming and gentle, and even though he is here with me for sex I still feel more relaxed with him than some of the other people I have been with.

He doesn't have sex with me until our next meeting. Even then, he is very gentle and tries his best to make sure I am comfortable, promising not to do anything that would hurt me. I still have morphling from earlier in the day running through my veins, so even though I am doing something I don't enjoy, I am relaxed and let him think I am having fun.

This works for a little bit, but he slowly starts to notice things about me. I try my hardest to please him and act like I am enjoying myself, but after a couple of meetings he says something to me about it.

"Terra, are you okay?" He asks me, brushing my hair out of my face.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I reply, "why do you ask?"

"You just seem out of it every time we have sex. Like you're not enjoying it."

"I am enjoying it, I'm just not a loud person," I say.

"Terra, you don't have to lie to me. I know I started coming here because I wanted sex, but I actually do care about you. If you're uncomfortable with this, I will be more than happy to just keep you company. We don't have to have sex or anything anymore."

This is probably one of the most polite things I have heard someone from the Capitol say to me since I've been here, but I'm not buying it at all. As much as I wish I could believe him, it's just not possible for a client to actually care about me and not just use me for my body. Sure, there have been a couple people that just wanted to cuddle or vent to me, but even then they still treated me like I wasn't an actual person. Why would Marc be any different than those people?

When Marc leaves, I order dinner from a delivery service. I haven't eaten all day, and I am starving. As I wait for my food to arrive, I lay down on the couch and turn on the tv. Most of the channels show talk about the upcoming games, but I finally find a show featuring two ridiculously dressed women that are gossipping about how fur hats are so last season. It isn't at all interesting, but it's better than anything else that is on. When my food arrives, I scarf it down then go to sleep.

For once, I have a dreamless, deep sleep. This is a relief because even with morphling running through my system, I have almost always had horrible nightmares. Whether they are about my parents, my Hunger Games, or now my time in the Capitol, there has always been something to haunt me.

I don't have any clients today, so I spend the majority of the day lounging around and thinking about random things. I am in a pretty good mood today because of my dreamless sleep, and I feel optimistic and hopeful for the upcoming games to end so I can (hopefully) return home.

That afternoon, Lilac and Lilia call me and ask if they can come over. I tell them that I don't have any clients so there's no need to prep me, but they quickly tell me that they just want to hang out with me. I tell them to come on over, and when they get here they both greet me with smiles and hugs.

We spend most of the afternoon hanging out around the house, talking about random events, doing each other's nails, and eating tons of delicious, sweet dessert. It is one of the best days I've had since I've been here, and I let them know that I am really grateful that they came over. They tell me that they are honored to be my stylists and friends, and say that they would love to hang out with me for fun more often. I agree, and when they leave I think about how nice it is that there are a select few people in the Capitol that are not horrible people.


	9. Good News

On a Monday morning, I get a call from one of President Snow's assistants, telling me that a train will be outside for me in an hour to take me to Snow's mansion for a meeting. When I hear this, I am instantly panicked and unable to gather my thoughts. I mumble an answer to the assistant then hang up. I get into the shower and try my hardest to calm myself down. I can't help but be scared though, because last time I met with Snow, he drugged me and informed me that he was forcing me to be the Capitol's pet.

As my breathing slows and I become less panicked, it occurs to me that maybe Snow is letting me go back home. This thought instantly calms me and keeps me optimistic. After all, Finnick did tell me that if I followed all of Snow's demands, I might be able to go home when the Games approached. I step out of the shower, now really hopeful, and throw on some clothes. I pull my hair into a bun and apply the creme foundation Lilac and Lilia told me would eliminate the bags under my eyes. Just as I get done with my makeup, there is a knock on the door.

Two of Snow's guards are at the door to escort me to my destination. I follow them out to the train, and find a seat in the first car. I am itching for some morphling to take the edge off of my reappearing nervousness, but I want to have a clear head when I talk to Snow. I don't want to give him any reason to keep me here any longer.

Before I know it, we are pulled up in front of Snow's mansion, and I am escorted to his office. My skin crawls as he turns in his chair and gives me a small smile.

"Good morning Miss Byrne, it is good to see you," he says to me.

I swallow my hatred and disgust and reply to him as politely as I can. "It is good to see you too, President Snow."

"I assume you have adjusted well to the Capitol way of life? You certainly look much better than when I last saw you."

This statement annoys me but I don't let it show. "Yes, I am doing much better. I am really grateful for all the things the nice people in the Capitol have done for me." This statement is not true, but I have to act like I am grateful and happy if I want a chance of going back home.

This seems to please President Snow, because he lets a big smile show and says, "That is excellent, Miss Byrne, I am glad you are enjoying yourself. I called you here today, because as you might know, the 74th Hunger Games are fast approaching. You are going to be a mentor for District Four's female this year, so it is required that you attend the reaping and escort your tribute back to the Capitol for the Games."

This isn't exactly what I expect him to say, but I am still happy that I at least get to go home for a day. I nod in acknowledgement, and because I am not sure what to say in response, I wait for him to continue talking.

"If everything goes smoothly and you prove to me during these Games that you are doing good and are extremely grateful for everything the Capitol has done for you, you will be able to return to District Four after this year's Games are over. You, of course, will have to return to the Capitol whenever you are needed or wanted by somebody, but you will be able to live in Four again." He stops talking and looks at me expectantly, waiting for me to reply to his statement. As his words sink in, I suddenly feel 100 times lighter.

Finnick was right. _I get to go home soon._


	10. The Reaping

_ Terra, wake up._ I open my eyes to see Tatianna and Lilia standing at the side of my bed, looking at me expectantly. I roll over and groan in response, I am definitely not ready to be awake yet. When I remember that today is the day I leave to get my tribute from four, however, I willingly jump out of bed.

Tatianna and Lilia escort me into the living room where I assume they will be making me over for my trip, but instead they tell me to take a seat. They sit on the couch next to Thom and Lilac, and Tatianna starts speaking.

"We have great news for you, Terra!" she exclaims. I look at her expectantly, waiting for her to continue. "Thom, Lilac, and Lilia are now the new prep team for District Four's tribute girl, so we all get to accompany you and your tribute during the Games!"

Thom smiles at me, while Lilac and Lilia both start jumping up and down excitedly. I am happy that those three will be accompanying me, but I'm not so happy that Tatianna will be there as well. I smile and hug Lilac, Lilia, and Thom, letting them know how excited I am, but I don't acknowledge Tatianna at all. She doesn't seem to notice though, instead of saying something she quietly watches me as I get ready to leave.

I came here with almost none of my belongings from home, but since I know I will be staying in the tribute center with the tributes from Four when I return, I gather the stuff I have accumulated since I've been in the Capitol. I fill a blue leather purse with all the money and jewelry clients have given me since I've been here. I know I will not wear any of the jewelry, but I'm sure people back in Four would love to buy it from me when I return there for good after the Games. I already have more money than I know what to do with, but it still feels good to be financially secure, even if I absolutely hate how I earned it.

It only takes a few hours to get from the Capitol to Four, but I spend the majority of that time sleeping. We get to Four at 11 in the morning, and I am escorted straight to the town square, where the reaping will take place. I spot Finnick in the crowd, standing with the other victors, and I walk over to him. Just as I am about to greet him, Tatianna's voice sounds over the speakers.

"Greetings citizens of District Four, and welcome to the reaping for the 74th annual Hunger Games!"

She gives a short speech about how she is sure we are all excited to pick the two tributes that will honor our district in the Hunger Games, then a short video is played explaining what happened 74 years ago that caused the creation of the Games. I zone out during most of this speech, not only because I have heard it so many times already, but also because it is still painful to relive my own reaping.

Before I know it, it is time to announce the tributes. I snap to attention, curious to know whether or not anyone will volunteer this year. Our district sometimes has career tributes that train and volunteer for the Games, but this doesn't always happen. Tatianna moves her hand around in the bowl, then picks up a piece of paper and reads the name.

"This year's female tribute is Wednesday Roberts!" Tatianna says with a big smile. Everyone is silent, waiting to see if anyone will volunteer in her place. When nobody does, a girl of about 14 years old steps out from the crowd and slowly walks up to the stage. She looks sad and really scared, just like I was when I was reaped. I instantly feel a pang of pity for her.

A really tiny boy with blonde curls named Malachi is reaped, and starts crying onstage. So this year is not a Career year for District Four. I feel bad for both tributes, and decide that I will do whatever I can to help them in the Games, even though their chances of surviving aren't great. I look over to Finnick, and it looks like he is thinking the same thing as me.

Finnick and I are already on the train with the prep team when the two tributes join us. Both of them are puffy eyed and still sniffling, obviously still upset from saying their goodbyes to their families and friends. This makes me really sad, but I put on a brave face and casually introduce myself to them.

"Hello, my name is Terra and I will be your mentor."

The girl, Wednesday, looks up at me with wide eyes but doesn't say anything. I am not a naturally talkative person, but I want to do my best to make this girl feel comfortable around me.

"I know you are probably scared, but I am going to make sure you win the Games so you can come home to your family."


End file.
